Learning Wisdom Through God’s Refining Process

The chaos didn’t disappear—but something more important happened.  Instead of reacting, I paused. And in that pause, God began refining my heart.

Proverbs 9:9-10

[9] Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. [10] Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.

Since I’ve been writing these messages from the Lord, there have been two requirements.

First, I don’t plan ahead. For me, it’s too easy to write under my own understanding instead of allowing the Lord to lead.Second—and this is a more recent development—my life has become an open book to glorify God. Using my mistakes or faults to relate to others or create common ground is the goal. It makes what the Lord wants to say more relatable. All I know for sure is that this is what I’ve been called to do, and I’m honored to do it. All glory to God.

This past week, the Lord really put on my heart that I had some things lurking in the dark corners that needed work. As I’ve shared before, I struggle with anger at times. My kids seem to know exactly how to draw it out. I love them fiercely, but when I see them choose to be disrespectful toward their mom or me, it sets me off.

At the beginning of last week, I felt overwhelming conviction to work on this. So I tried. The first couple of times, I failed miserably. I got mad so easily and, of course, ended up down a road none of us want to go. It happened three nights in a row.

I finally had to take a step back and pray, “Lord, this is ridiculous. What is going on with my kids? Why are we having problems every night?”

Then He answered me:“You told Me you wanted to be better and stop getting angry. This is how it’s done.”

Truthfully, I didn’t feel very smart right then.

In my anger, I was blinded. I needed to learn to seek the Lord’s solution to my anger, and that meant learning how to seek Him in the heat of the moment. This is where I began truly learning wisdom through God’s refining process—not in theory, but in real time.

Here’s the amazing part. If the Lord had made it easy on me and given me a normal week with maybe one incident, I would not have had the realization I have now. It was those tough moments that beat me down to my knees that allowed my eyes to open and see.

Now that my eyes are open, they cannot be shut. I’m looking for it now.

I think of it like a mechanic doing a repair for the first time. As you go, you encounter difficulties. When the job is finished, you can see where you could have saved time or where certain steps were unnecessary. Once you see that, the next time you do the repair, you’re better and faster. The process taught you.

That’s exactly what learning wisdom through God’s refining process looks like. It’s not always clean. It’s not comfortable. But it’s effective.

The message in all of this is simple: trust the Lord’s process. If we want to change and truly be better, we have to be ready for the Lord’s creative and perfect lessons—even when they don’t come the way we expect.

I pray there is something relatable for you in this story. Even if you don’t struggle with anger, the core message applies to anything the Lord may be calling you to work on. Growth often comes through refinement, and wisdom is often learned in the very moments we wish away.

Thank You, Father, for one more day. Amen.

Colossians 3:10-11

[10] Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. [11] In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.

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