Healing the Root of Anger in Christian Parenting — God Had to Heal Me First

He was waiting for me to react, but God was teaching me to heal first—because sometimes the breakthrough in our parenting begins in the quiet work He does inside us.

Today's testimony is brought to you by our Heavenly Father.

This testimony is more of an update than anything else. As I've admitted before, I have struggled with anger, especially when it comes to my children lying or being disrespectful.

Our conversations usually start with me trying to stay calm and level-headed, but most times it only takes one word or one disrespectful look to set me off.

After a lot of inward reflection, I began to realize the root wasn’t just their behavior. The root was my need to feel respected and valued. When I didn’t feel that—especially when I felt I had earned it—anger would lash out. But if I’m honest, that anger was really hurt.

The Lord has been walking me through Healing the Root of Anger in Christian Parenting, and it hasn’t been about behavior modification. It’s been about heart transformation.

I’ve been praying and asking Him to destroy that deep need for man’s approval and respect. God’s love has been rearranging my needs. Taking that pressure off of other people—even if they never knew what I thought I needed from them—has been freeing.

My value is in what God says I am. I’ve always known that, but as I found out, it wasn’t always lived out. I had no idea I needed inner healing from wounds created by people in my past. It has been eye-opening and has answered a lot of questions. Some of my reactions that I thought were justified were actually rooted in unhealed places.

Praise God for His healing power.

All of this came to the surface in my relationship with my son.

Last night I had to confront him about some dishonesty, and for the first time, I was scared. I even waited a few hours until I felt the time was right. When the opportunity came, I asked him about it calmly, keeping in mind all that the Lord has been teaching me.

He just stared at me—almost like he was waiting for me to get angry.

There was a moment when I felt the anger start to rise, especially when he began playing the “I don’t remember” card. But instead of reacting, I stopped and reminded him that I loved him.

We had a productive, calm conversation—and he heard me. He understood where I was coming from and agreed. That has never happened before.

Finally, progress. And it started with me.

I’ve known for a long time that if you have a problem with someone and you want change, the Lord often starts with you. In my blindness, I couldn’t see that I was contributing to the very problem I wanted fixed. In some ways, I had unknowingly dragged my son into it.

Healing the Root of Anger in Christian Parenting meant allowing God to reveal what was hidden in me before trying to correct what I saw in him.

None of this was possible without my Father’s intervention in my life. As I’ve learned, I am not capable of noticing and dealing with every issue I create on my own. By the grace of God, we have a way to connect with Him—even in our toughest parenting moments.

As parents, we are always teaching. Without inward reflection, we may unknowingly train our children to solve problems with anger or other sin. But when we allow God to heal us first, we model repentance, growth, and grace.

My prayer for you is that the Lord reveals any hidden or unrecognized issues before they fulfill the enemy’s plan of damaging relationships. Healing the Root of Anger in Christian Parenting is a process—but it is one worth walking through.

Thank you, Father, for one more day. Amen.

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